Under Maintenance

 
Photo by Benjamin David Trieu

Photo by Benjamin David Trieu

 

I've had things broken in my brain.

Busted pipes, corrupted files, and feral beasts bent upon self consumption

Crack my cranium open for proof

See the claw marks scraped into the edge of their cage

I've had times when poetry did not come, words would not flow

Days when the only words rolling out the rusted gumball machine of my brain were flaming sea urchins.

Months when miasma was missing me, so'd regularly drop in without notice.

Eternities in anti-serenity with numbness devouring all sunbeams straggling underfoot; eyes unfocused on all the wrong things

I'd practice my backfloat

In the tempest at the bottom of a dozen seas,

No worse place to be

No better place for me.

One day I'll shoot the moon

Lasso the sun

Pull myself up by those glowing threads

You left like a shining road for me.

I don't know what it was all for,

But I've never met someone who can hold their breath so patiently

Most consume it without a first, second, or third thought

I hold my breath

In my hands

Weigh if I should take it, or offer it to others

It is always both - In and Out

I did not come with all parts required for a functioning brain.

I came with a fecund field for cultivating ideas

My heart was not full of love,

Didn't know the taste of blood.

It was all seeds and sprouts for growing

Do not sit and wait for a garden to bloom in your chest

It is already there

Under layers of debris and weeds.

Get on your knees

And tear away the terrors choking out the sun

Brambles constricting and withering your heart.

Caring is the only amendment your garden needs.

It is yours and yours alone to tend

Nothing more gratifying than this work

Nothing more beautiful than blooming love

Although you may not see it

You are already blooming more than you believe

Paw your way past partitions and find your petals

Do not pluck them, hold them close, protect them

Help them grow into the you you've always seen way up in the stars

They are already inside of you

Please

Hold their hand

As you both tend that bounty of blossoms

That is already

You


Ben Trieu is a Poet, Engineer, Permaculturalist, Armchair Philosopher, Avid Bicyclist, Anti-Abstruseobfuscatingesotericist, Community Organizer, ex-Depressed Person, Juggler, and Friend that believes we all have worth and beauty and joy within ourselves and does his best to show that to himself and everyone he knows and meets with his writings, projects, and facial expressions. If you're interested in all that stuff, or simply like poetry, feel free to shoot him a message or strike up a conversation at bent4531@gmail.com. Keep on being awesome ^_^

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